Journal Entry Star-date 20190209

Clear Sky, 5°C

And so after CRPS began seven years ago today when I fell and my life changed forever. Little did I know how very much that bruised knee would disrupt my life. Today my pain is around a 3 🙂, I’ve slept well the night before and got a nap in today. Of course I haven’t gotten out of my robe but that’s okay. I ate, I’ve socialized via online, been artistic and laughed with the hubby making this grahic…

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Journaling: January 29, 2019

Clear Sky, 37°F

I am rying something new here through my journaling app… Please be patient.

January is almost over and I need to journal more… Basically it’s been a good month. I continue to supprise myself as to how well I continue to do with improving my pain, learning to contend with it, and having some sort of a quality of a social life. Weither I am fellowshipping with neighbors, mentoring others, spending time with those close to me, or simply spending some quality time alone enjoying a hobby, watching a TEDx talk or taking a nap.

The reality of it is this… The facts speak for themselves, the proof is in the pudding, my health speaks louder than words… I could preach up a storm about what I do and how I am doing or I can show you the rising Pheonix I am as it is out of the flames of this disease from which I rise, transformed not only physically, and emotionally, but spiritually as well.

With the wise words of Confusion, not to be confused with Confucius, I leave you to ponder… “No matter where you go, there you are.”

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This time a year ago…

TMI WARNING: Turnaround, go back if you don’t like uncomfortable subjects… You’ve been warned.

This time a year ago…I was too sick and scared to share about what was happening to me as I laid in my living floor on a queen sized mattress my husband brought out for me because climbing the stairs to use the facilities and get back up them was too much for me and but not because of my CRPS. It was because of sever abdominal pain, six weeks doubled over unable to move most days. As we all know opioids cause constipation, I also have a physical impairment to my intestines that compounds the constipation issue, essential my colon is slow, retarded in action. [To those freaking out right this moment because I dare use that word… Grow up! Look up the word and use it in it’s proper context not the informal and offensive use.] Because of this impairment of function the pills and a lack of hydration did a number on my ability to live.

Figuring I just needed to poop, didn’t go to my doctor right away until I started experiencing symptoms they tell you to seek medical attention immediate if you experience. I first sought the advice of my general practitioner, who then sent me on to a specialist.

The specialist was apprehensive to do explorative test because of my age, not 50 yet. So, I got pushy because of not only the sever pain inhibiting my ability to function but the blood coming from my backside frightened the sh¡t out of me as I’ve never had anal bleeding, not even a hemorrhoid. Finally the doctor agreed, we set a date for a week out and discussed not only how to prep for the procedure but how to maintain a healthy bowl.

This is where I seriously frustrated him with my anti-chemical lifestyle, his lack of knowledge over what CRPS is and how I refuse to go backwards in my recovery turning the prognosis of continued deterioration around.

Miralax is poly(ethyelene) glycol derived from the MAIN compound found in antifreeze. I am opposed to drinking antifreeze even if it is sweet, even if in small amounts is isn’t deadly. The very action it is used to evacuate your bowels is the very process of the body attempting to rid it of the poison. Magnesiun citrate on the other hand isn’t a poison it is a mineral that is required by the body for proper function on various levels and yet… Not something they recommend even though it will help to regulate your bowels movements when taken as a supplement or purchased as a liquid for constipation it works quickly and generally without the cramping other laxatives cause. In my personal experience.

What did they discover? Pre-cancerous adenoma polups. I go back in four years, now, for a repeat of the colonoscopy as this cancer is slow growing most generally. My point here is don’t let age deter you from discovering what’s wrong, don’t allow yourself to be dissuaded from being concerned if you’re concerned and the symptoms point to the need to be concerned. Doctors are hired for a discovery of the facts, the options available, and their opinion/assessment of the facts. What they are not hired to do is decide for you what course of treatment YOU are most comfortable pursuing.

Happy New Year

Wishing one and all a very happy new year! With the new year on the horizon, I am entering this day under elevated invisible pain. Thankfully I am not inflamed or swollen and that makes pushing through the pain so much more bearable.

Pretty sure I’m figuring out what the culprit of the discomfort is, however, the discovery of how to deal with it eludes me at this juncture but I will figure this out for myself because no one will do it for me even if I pay them to because there is no profit for them in my wellness. See you next year…in 2019. 💖

Miss Ruth does try to distract me from my discomfort…

Post Holidays Update

Had a great holiday. Christmas Eve we entertained company, Christmas day I cooked the entire meal and kept the kitchen clean in the process, got a nap after dinner and started to get achy.

So, I took a pain pill rather than trusting the tincture I’ve started making myself would address the discomfort long enough to allow me some sleep. To my complete dismay my pain was relieved enough to sleep but I awoke six times in three hours I was in bed because of extreme itching. See I have a sensitivity to natural opioids, basically an allergy to the very medication prescribed to me to provided me some relief. Lolol talk about an oxymoron.

That left me awake at 3AM yesterday morning until the medication wore off some time around 7AM when I was able to finally medicate and sleep which takes another 45 minutes or so to take effect. I refuse to mix alcohol with prescriptions and I use alcohol as my extraction solvent. I suppose if I would go ahead and break it down to the Phoenix Tears form I could overt the need to wait however I don’t find the form of delivery or the residual loss of the medication palatable.

Last night I medicated with the tincture… I got a steady 3 hours before I started flip flopping about because of hip pain from the battery site. I am two years post removal and I expected to be better by now not still experiencing unfathomable pain continually.

Is This Genocide?

Are we looking at a form of passive-aggressive genocide with the sudden decision to stop treating pain parents compassionately and instead treat them like drug abusers? What does the CDC and the deciding body believe will happen to those suffering from incomprehensible debilitating pain? (Read about that here.) My God the nickname for Complex Regional Pain Syndrome is “The Suicide Disease” what do they think will happen to patients who are given no other choice. They sure don’t teach my basic approach and yet when I speak to those who have taken my approach then applied it to themselves they too found improvement in the levels of pain they are experiencing.

Ahead of My Time Peaking Before Season

In the seventh grade, I bought canvas high top LA Gear shoes. I was teased, ridiculed, and mocked about my cloth shoes… The next year, the popular girls were wearing LA Gear canvas shoes.

On popular hair cuts… The husband looks around says to me “Your hair was cut like that last year, and you cut your own hair.” Yes, it’s out there I cut my own mop, after paying a ton of money for someone else to screw it up… I cut my own thank you. 🤣

For awhile I’ve been wanting to speak up about preparedness. I didn’t want to sound like chicken little with “The Sky is Falling!” and out of fear kept quiet. But the facts are that each winter I try to talk to my offspring about emergency kits for their cars, emergency rations and supplies for the home… It annoys them, I know and I am sure they humor me much of the time. However, the older they get tho I think they might be starting to listen.

Few months back our government issued a quiet press release stating that during a regional disaster where the government needs to step in and help out, they will be delayed, slow to respond, and recommended food storages beyond the recommended 3 days to 2 weeks. I wrote a blog article discussing this and then sat on it again out of fear of ridicule. I already tout a controversial approach to managing my Complex Regional Pain Syndrome and a few other diagnoses.

I published that article the day Alaska had it’s quake. In it I recommend we look to others for inspiration like the LDS church, who at one time taught their congregation to store a year of food, per person. Well, again our government again has quietly issued a lengthy report on the possibility of grid down complications for whatever reason and the hardships projected during these “what if situations” are huge. The projection of electrical blackouts is anywhere from 3-6 months upwards of 20 years of compounded issues in any given situation be it from terrorist attacks, natural disasters locally, or simultaneously on a global scale.

These are not my ‘what if’s” but the scenarios my own government has come up with. In that there is no give up in me and I am a survivor by nature I cannot wait around and hope someone shows up to save me with the words “I am from the government and I am here to help you.” because the words “I am a doctor, take these pills they will help you.” didn’t work out so well.

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